


Too Good at Goodbyes

by wekingsandprettythings



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Crying, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Smut, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 20:41:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12615060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wekingsandprettythings/pseuds/wekingsandprettythings
Summary: Dan and Phil keep having sex, even though their nothing more than friends, and even though they both know Dan's madly in love with Phil.





	Too Good at Goodbyes

It’s not Dan’s fault that he can’t keep a partner. It’s his asshole roommates fault. Time and time again Dan has thought maybe he was over him, with his perfect hair and perfect eyes, not to mention his amazing ass and that wonderful thing he can do with his- he thought he was done with him.

But somehow Phil finds a way to sneak into Dan’s thoughts, he tries to sabotage all of Dan’s relationships, and they all end up with Dan breaking up with them after crawling out from under Phil’s sheets. He felt like an asshole for cheating on all these good people. Never letting them know he cheated, just saying he wasn’t feeling it anymore. But they all knew.

They all saw the way Dan looked at Phil when he walked into the kitchen in the morning with his sleepy eyes and how he smiled at the sight of Phil eating all his cereal. They knew when they’d come back to Dan’s place and he’d stop to let Phil know he was home before continuing on with whomever he was with. They knew when Dan was there breaking up with them in person like a good guy, with a hickey showing under his shirt. 

“We need to stop doing this.” Dan said, crawling out of Phil’s bed and putting his pants back on.

Phil laughs and sits up, pulling Dan back into his bed. “You’ve said that the last 6 times we’ve fucked. You don’t want to stop.” Phil whispered in his ear before taking a nibble at it.

“And you don’t want to be my boyfriend so why should I keep fucking you.” Dan spat, shoving Phil off and walking out.

He slammed his door with a huff. Every fucking time he left he felt the same, used and alone and hurt. He wanted the loving and cuddling side of sex. He wanted someone to cherish him, he wanted more than amazing sex. He wanted Phil to be his lover, his best friend, his everything. The other relationships were just to fill a Phil sized hole in his heart. 

He showered, rubbed the smell of Phil off his body only to replace it with their shared shower gel, and share shampoo, and conditioner, towels, everything. He couldn’t get rid of him. They even used the same fucking laundry detergent so his clothes smelled like him. He half screamed, shoved a jacket on and ran out the door.

He went where he knew he was safe. He went to his mum’s house. She opened the door with a smile and a warm hug. She smelled like safe and home, an easier time. She was his best and only friend growing up. “what’s wrong love?” she asked, pulling him into his old house. 

“I needed to escape my life for a little.” He said. Still hugging her. He felt huge, her head rested on his chest, he looked down at her greying hair and felt old. It was different but her love for him was the same.

“Let me fix you some tea and we’ll talk about it.” She said, pulling away and patting his belly as she left for the kitchen. 

He followed her into the kitchen, he looked around and remembered all the memories from that room. He remembered feeding his little brother in the wooden highchair in the corner, he remembered breaking a plate in the cabinet near the back door and crying. He remembered the day his dad left and holding his mom while she cried. He remembers telling her he was bi. He remembers crying his eyes out telling her he was madly in love with a boy who lived half way across the country who he thought was the one. 

She placed the tea in front of him, laid her own down and placed a plate of biscuits in the middle. “What did he do?” 

He let out a long breath. She always knew. “We keep having sex.” He was so totally open with his mother, they knew everything about each other seeing as they were all the other had for a good 10 years. 

“He only wants me when someone else has me. He only acts like he loves me while were in bed and then all of a sudden, he’s just my friend again. I don’t understand why he can’t love me.” He started to cry, “I want him to love me.”

“Ask him.” His mother said, raising her shoulders quickly as if saying why not.

“Oh yeah I’ll just walk in and say; ‘Hi Phil you know how I’ve loved you for the last eight years? Well, why don’t you love me back?’ sounds like a great plan mum thanks! All my problems are solved thank you.” Dan snapped back

“I know you’re upset but don’t take it out on me. I’ve sat here and listened to you talk about Phil Lester and tried to be calm for the last eight years remember? I try to give you good advice when I really want to go tell him to go fuck himself.” His mother finally lost it. “you’re a wonderful person and you deserve love but you’re hung up on that ass hole and I have no idea why? Sure, the sex is good but find someone who is better!”

He was speechless. “I,” he looked at her with tears in his eyes, “why haven’t you said that before?”

“I’m your mother and your friend, but I can’t always talk to you like a friend. I have to support you and be here for you like a mother but I can’t anymore. I can’t sit back and watch you have your heart broken time and time again.” 

“oh.” He said whipping his tears, “thank you for the tea, I’ll see you again later.” He got up, pushed in his chair and ignored his mother who just kept saying his name as he left the house. 

The cab home was filled with sad songs and little tears. Maybe his mum was right, what if he moved out and did his own thing? They could still film together and no they couldn’t. Dan stopped his train of thought. He would never leave Phil, no matter how hurt he was. Maybe they would just be fuck buddies forever. Maybe he’d never get married and have kids but at least he’s always have Phil around. 

He walked into their flat, and kept walking to Phil’s room. He dropped his bag and jacket in the hall, placed his phone on a table, ripped his shirt off and walked right into Phil’s room without knocking. Phil looked up from his computer to see Dan before Dan moved the computer to the side table and straddled Phil on the bed.

“what’s this for?” Phil asked, running his hands down Dan’s back and grabbing a hold of his ass. 

“Just shut up and fuck me.” Dan said before connecting their lips.

Dan made it his mission to drive Phil crazy, kissing his neck and Adam’s apple, nibbling his ear and rocking his hips back and forth over Phil’s. He felt him get harder under him, Phil’s whines turned him on immensely. “Do you want to fuck me?” He whispered in Phil’s ear.

His answer was in the form of Phil sanding up, with Dan still wrapped around his body, and laying him on his back on the bed. Phil kissed all the way down Dan’s stomach before undoing his jeans and pulling them off slowly. Dan lifted his butt off the bed so Phil had an easier time. His hands were above his head, and his eyes were locked on Phil’s. Both were full of lust, it felt different than all the other times they’ve had sex.

His jeans were thrown across the room, Phil lifted one of Dan’s legs kissing all the way up to his ankle before taking one sock off, and moving to the other leg. He’s never made this much of a show for Dan before. He got back on the bed, spun Dan a little so that he was in the middle of Dan’s legs and hauled his body closer to him. 

Phil’s grip on his hips felt like he was marking his territory. Like Dan was his for the night. He hungrily lent back down to kiss Dan again. Dan reached up to lay his hands on Phil’s face. The kissing wasn’t the way it usually was, just hot and for the heck of it, this time was so, so different. There was passion and a trace of love.

Phil pulled back and ran his hands down Dan’s side’s, causing him to lift his back to the touch and moan. Phil slid his fingers under the waist band of Dan’s underwear and slowly pulled them down his hips, past his legs, until they were alongside Dan’s pants and long forgotten.

He got down between Dan’s legs, kissing the inside of his thighs, leaving hickeys and blowing over the wet spots. It was so different. He was taking his time and making it last, and it was amazing. Phil got up to grab lube and a condom from the drawer.

“Don’t” Dan said, grabbing the condom and throwing it off the bed.

“Why?” Phil said, confused. “Normally you insist?” 

“I want to feel all of you. I don’t care anymore.” He said, causing Phil to smile and kiss him again before going back to his inner thighs. 

The first time the did it back in Manchester, all those years ago, Phil went down on him. He wanted to show Dan all the different types of pleasure he could get. No one’s ever eaten him out since. That was special to him and Phil knew it.

Phil got closer, and closer, spreading Dan’s cheeks and licking a stripe up his hole. Dan moaned, arching his back, and wanting to cry in pleasure and because he was so madly in love. He felt Phil licking and kissing him in his most intimate spot, the way he did the day he fell in love with him. The day he had his heart broken. 

He heard the cap pop off the lube, knowing Phil was ready to move on, he whipped the tears that escaped with his arm, leaving it over his eyes and got ready or what was next. But nothing happened. “Are you okay?” he heard Phil ask.

He cleared his throat and looked up, “yeah why?”

Phil pulled him up so that he was sitting and pulled him onto his lap, he whipped the tears from Dan’s eyes. “What’s wrong?” 

“I still love you.” He said, looking down, avoiding Phil’s eyes. 

“I know.” Phil said, rubbing his thumb on Dan’s shoulder, calming him a little. “We don’t have to continue if you aren’t okay.” 

“I want to. If this is as close to you as I can get then I’ll take it while I can.” Dan replied, looking Phil in the eyes, and kissing him again. 

Phil gently laid him back down and shimmied out of his own pants before getting back to business. He spread the lube on his fingers, rubbing one over Dan’s entrance before pushing in, kissing his thigh while pumping in and out. He added a second, leaving more hickeys on his legs and basically wrecking Dan in the meantime. 

“fuck Phil, please, please!” Dan panted.

“Come get it then.” Phil said, watching Dan get up and push Phil back.

Dan crawled on top of him, kissing him with one hand on his cheek and the other reaching down to grab Phil’s cock and play with his own entrance, driving Phil crazy in return. Sitting up to grab the lube and cover Phil’s member before sliding down on him. 

He stayed still, watching Phil’s face fill with pleasure. He slowly started to move his hips. Phil’s hands made their way to Dan’s hips, guiding him faster and faster. The two moaned in unison before Phil reached up and pulled Dan’s head down to kiss him. Open mouth kisses, with moans escaping. Hot breath on each other’s faces. Hands roaming over each other’s body’s while their hips moved to a rhythm that they were always meant to. 

“Phil,” Dan said, his shuttering, “I’m.”

Phil wrapped both arms around Dan’s body, pulling him close and kissing him hard. Fucking up into Dan a few more times, Dan bit his lip and pulled back, cumming harder than he had in a while. The sight alone would have sent Phil into his orgasm, mix that with the way Dan tightened around him while still rocking his hips back and forth. Phil came with a shout. 

“I love you.” Phil said in the moment.

Dan buried his face in Phil’s shoulder. Breathing heavily and trying to process what the fuck just happened with a fuzzy post orgasm mind. Phil just held him there, he didn’t try to escape to push Dan off like he had before. He just held him there.

“I love you.” He said again. 

Dan used the hand that was already on Phil’s shoulder to push himself up a little. Phil had a smile on his face, “I love you.” He whispered this time. Dan didn’t know what to say.

“what?” Phil asked at Dan’s puzzled face.

“You can’t just say that to me? Not like this.” Dan said getting up and leaving Phil’s room without any of his things. 

He sat on the floor of their shower, reaching to turn the water on, letting it hit him while he sobbed. He felt the cum leaving him, washing down the drain, just like the first time. Everything felt like the first time. The closeness, the slowness, the “I love you” that he didn’t mean. It happened again.

Phil knocked on the door, “Can I come in? Dan I’m sorry.” He heard muffled through the door.

He didn’t answer, but he heard the door open. “Dan?”

“I hate you.” Dan cried, pulling his legs to his chest and trying to hide in plain sight. 

“I’m so sorry” Phil said, climbing into the shower and wrapping his arms around Dan’s wet body. He let Dan cry harder than he’d ever seen him cry before, holding him close and telling him he was sorry again, and again, and again. 

Finally, Dan stopped crying. Phil reached up and grabbed the body wash, pouring it on a cloth and running it over Dan’s body softly. He let the water run it off him, before reaching back up for the shampoo, he got onto his knees so he could properly wash Dan’s hair. 

He drizzled a small amount of the strawberry scented gel onto his hand, rubbing them together and brushing it through Dan’s hair. Massaging it in, lathering it up, keeping it out of his eyes, watching it run down Dan’s back. He stood up and grabbed the detachable shower head, washing all the shampoo out, and making sure all the soap was off Dan’s body. He whipped himself down a little, rinsing off and turning the shower off. 

He grabbed a towel for Dan, wrapping him up, still sitting in silence on the ground. He wrapped a towel around himself and dried off completely. He picked Dan up off the floor, Dan wrapped his legs around Phil’s waist for support while he walked them back to Phil’s bedroom. 

Phil set him on the bed. Dan just sat there in silence while Phil put on a pair of underwear. He held out a pair for Dan but he didn’t want it. He held out a long shirt next, Dan nodded his head. Phil removed the towel from him, making sure he was dry before sliding the shirt over Dan’s head and pulling his arms through. 

Phil got on his knees in from of him, and looked up and Dan’s glossy eyes. “I’m really sorry Dan.” 

He just shook his head. 

“I am.” Phil said, placing his hands on Dan’s knees. “I didn’t mean to do that again. I’ve tried so hard every time to not say it because I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Then why did you say it this time? Why did you make me feel special? Why did you do all the things I saved for you?” Dan asked.

“I do love you.” Phil said, reaching his hands up to place them on Dan’s face. “I’m just afraid to love you. I’m afraid to lose you. I’m afraid to not be enough love for you. I’m,” a tear left Phil’s eye. “I’m not good enough for you, and that’s why I told you I didn’t mean it last time.”

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted Phil. To me there isn’t anything better than you. There isn’t too much or too little love you could give me because if it’s love from you that’s all I need.” Dan assured him, pulling him up by his chin and kissing him. “Don’t be stupid.”

Phil just smiled. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Dan said back, a smile growing on his face.

Phil got up and walked over to his side of the bed. He fixed the covers, watched Dan crawl under them and followed suit. Dan cuddle right into him, laying his head on Phil chest and not wanting to ever get up. He wanted to stay in that moment for the rest of his life. 

He felt the Phil size whole in his heart get a little smaller that night. He wondered how long it would take to be completely gone, but it didn’t matter anymore. Phil loved him, for real, and it didn’t feel like he was going to stop loving him any time soon. They were happy.

Finally happy, Together.


End file.
